


Troubling Future

by darkness_prince_dan



Series: Song based drabbles [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drabble, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 17:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4675235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkness_prince_dan/pseuds/darkness_prince_dan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan's brain shuts off only when he's partying but then Phil comes and he seems to have answers to all of Dan's questions.<br/>Super short drabble based on the song '3005' by Childish Gambino.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Troubling Future

Dan’s surrounded by people all the time. There’s not a minute when he’s alone or when he’s not partying and trying to forget how lonely he actually is, trying to shut off his brain and stop thinking about the insignificance of his existence, about how he’s wasting his life but can’t seem to stop, about how none of this matters anyway. It’s not like there’s anyone he can talk about this either. His so called friends are just like him. They’re teens and they’re all afraid of the future and they’re all trying to forget, to not think. Because no one has the answers, majority of the people don’t even raise the questions. Dan wishes he could be one of those, the not thinking. He doesn’t have such luck.

Phil’s got the answers, though. Dan can’t remember how they meet, one day Phil’s just there as if he always has been. They’re sitting on someone’s bed, passing a bottle of vodka between them. Dan hates vodka but it does the trick faster than any other liquor Dan’s tried. Something stronger might work even better; however, Dan’s not that destructive yet. Phil talks a lot about space. It unnerves Dan because such talks involve too much thinking and he doesn’t want that. So he kisses Phil just to shut him up. It escalates quickly from there and Dan finds another nice distraction to add to his list.

Their escapades become regular, there’s no one Dan would rather be than with Phil, mostly having sex, enjoying it, forgetting to worry. Phil’s too intuitive, though. He figures out Dan’s strategy quickly and makes him talk. It’s mostly questions; complicated, serious, desperate questions. Dan grabs the bottle, tears trickle down his cheeks. Phil watches him take a gulp and cough when it burns his throat. He tells him that alcohol won’t help and then answers his questions with a positive spin making Dan stare at him wide-eyed hanging onto his every word. They spend several nights like that.

Later Dan asks Phil why he’s here. Phil doesn’t understand him. They sit on a kitchen counter at some other party sharing a bottle of beer. Dan elaborates by asking why he’s here with Dan drinking if those thoughts don’t bother him, if he’s got it all figured out, why he’s not living with the rest of the happy folk. Phil doesn’t respond; he glances away and runs a hand through his hair. Then it hits Dan. Phil’s a liar, he pretends, he’s got nothing figured out, all his promises of their future together, all his reassurances are worthless. Dan scoffs saying ‘figures’ and jumps off the counter leaving Phil alone. He gets black out drunk that night for the first time since Phil; it’s nice to lose half the night of worrying.

Their separation doesn’t last long. Dan can’t stand not being with Phil and it’s not just the sex. He’s in love for the first time in his life, he realises. No matter what Phil says or does, Dan craves him the same. He misses the other’s touch, fingers trailing along Dan’s spine, kisses all over his face, hickeys on his clavicles and hipbones; he misses the comfort, lying in Phil’s arms, hugging him whenever and wherever; he even misses the talks, the dread he feels before asking a question, the relief when Phil’s got the answer.

After they reunite, Phil promises that they’ll figure it out together. He kisses Dan on the lips, biting on his bottom lip then swiping over it with his tongue soothingly. Physical affection distracts Dan, he’s grateful Phil for that and tries to pay back in the same way.

Dan’s still not okay. The thoughts still plague him and he has no idea what to do with his at the same time such a short and such a long existence. Phil’s not okay either. But they’re together, they’re trying, and they’re not lonely anymore.


End file.
